Have you heard about the cat owner who went to jail rather than let her ex-husband have custody of their pets? Or the man who regularly trotted his four horses through the car wash because they preferred to shower in warm water? Are these folks crazy or caring—or both? Read on and judge for yourself.

Permission to poop, please

Ever have one of those days you wish you could just do over? For Kathy and Rick Heckman of Leonia, New Jersey, that day was November 4, 2002, when their dog, Shiner, a three-year-old hound mix, relieved himself on a grass strip between the curb and sidewalk in front of William Ramos’s house. Rick cleaned up the mess and continued on his way, not knowing that his dog’s ordinary morning deposit would lead to a lawsuit.

The issue: a local ordinance stating that if your dog would like to exercise bathroom privileges on private property, you must first get the permission of the owner. But was the strip of grass private property? In the complaint that he filed, William Ramos said yes, it was his property. Next thing Rick knew, he was summoned to court. “I didn’t get a lawyer, because I thought I didn’t need one,” he says.

Big mistake. Because a broken ordinance was involved, Rick’s “opposing counsel” was a criminal court district attorney. As Rick tried to question Ramos, the DA frequently interrupted: “I object!” he called.

Rick was found guilty of violating the town ordinance and received a $10 fine (which was suspended). More surprisingly, Judge John DeSheplo informed the courtroom that he was basing his decision on English common law, which he said decrees that property owners own up to the middle of the road. “There was an audible gasp,” says Rick. Did this mean that people in Leonia couldn’t drive down the street without their neighbors’ permission? That the town couldn’t put up traffic signs without clearing it first?

Turning into community activists, the Heckmans successfully fought to change the law, so that dog owners do not need to obtain permission for their pups to use the road or adjacent grassy strip. And Shiner? He’s just happy that he can finally poop in peace.

Dog’s day in court

Should a dog be able to file a lawsuit? Yes, say Alyce and Andrew Pacher of Vandalia, Ohio, who admit they’ve taken a lot of ribbing since they went to court on behalf of their golden retriever, Boomer. You can imagine the jokes: Was the dog planning to testify? And what would constitute a jury of Boomer’s peers—all retrievers, or might the court allow a dachshund or a Chihuahua? But the Pachers’ lawsuit was serious. In January 2001, Boomer had been burned by an invisible fence in the family’s yard, and the Pachers learned that under Ohio law, the fence company was not liable for vet bills, only for the current market value of the dog. “It’s as if Boomer were merely but a couch that had been damaged,” says Alyce.

As it happened, lawyer Paul Leonard, of the Center for Animal Rights and Advocacy, was looking for just such a case to challenge the law, and the Pachers signed on. In the decision, rendered last September, the Pachers won on the containment issue (that the fence failed to keep Boomer in the yard, a finding the company is appealing). But they lost on the question of whether the company was liable for Boomer’s physical and emotional injuries. They’ve now taken the case to the Court of Appeals—the ones who can actually change the law. And though the ridicule continues, the Pachers have vowed to fight until the law recognizes pets as more than property.

Not without my dog

Kathy French and her toy Maltese, Princess AnnLeigh, were always together. So it was no surprise that when she and husband G. Clinton Smith, Jr., separated, Kathy packed up the pup along with her other belongings.

But a judge felt differently, ordering her to return all “tangible property” until the property settlement in the divorce was finished. While Kathy had no problem giving back a diamond ring, a Dale Earnhardt, Jr., suede coat, and a partially filled jar of change, she refused to hand over the Maltese, even when threatened with prison. “Put me in jail,” she retorted, adding that she knew best who should take care of Princess.

“Better than this judge?” Smith’s lawyer asked.

“Yes,” said Kathy, undaunted.

The judge didn’t rule on that point, but he did award temporary custody to Kathy once she put $1,180 (the dog’s purchase price) in an escrow account. And 18 “very long” months later, she says, he granted her full custody.

When Harry met Ruby

Harry Bond was only a baby when he met his soul mate: the family’s new puppy, a cavalier King Charles spaniel named Ruby (who is, despite his name, a male). By the time both were three, last March, “Ruby was following him everywhere,” says the preschooler’s mother, Kim Bond, a Richmondville, New York, a breeder of cavaliers. But then Harry almost lost his friend.

Last winter, Kim loaned the spaniel to breeder Emily Alvarado, in Queens, New York. A few days later, Kim was online when she received an e-mail from a friend that Alvarado had been murdered and all the dogs in her custody had been taken to a New York City shelter. From there, Kim later learned, Ruby had been moved to the home of another breeder, in Connecticut. “I was freaking out—first, about the murder, and then about my dog. Where was he?”says Kim.

Then ensued five weeks of bureaucratic dead ends. The Connecticut breeder refused to release Ruby without authorization from Animal Care and Control in Manhattan. Kim drove the 50 miles to talk with officials there, but they stonewalled her. Finally, she arranged for the authorities to scan for the microchip that had been implanted in Ruby’s neck. The whole family—Kim; her husband, Harry; and little Harry—drove down to the appointed veterinarian’s office for the scanning. But somehow the chip had disappeared. “I later found a scab on Ruby’s neck, a straight line like a scalpel would make. I think the chip was removed,” says Kim, who was told she’d be arrested if she took the dog.

Luckily, Kim had another piece of ID up her sleeve. Eight months earlier she’d bought a home DNA test kit and taken a swab from inside the dog’s mouth, but she had never gotten around to having it processed. Now she rushed the sample to the American Kennel Club’s lab in California, which confirmed the spaniel’s identity.

Ruby was waiting at the Manhattan shelter, so once again the whole family got in the car. Little Harry fell asleep in the backseat, but when he awoke, he was face to face with his beloved Ruby, who was in a car crate. “When we got home, Ruby bounded out of the crate, and the two played until Harry fell asleep,” says Kim.

Good Housekeeping, October 2003