My 11-year-old son, Levi, has been hunched in front of the PC for almost two hours, sorting a load of socks on his Pajama Sam's Sock Works CD-ROM. Is this virtual laundry exercise educational? I don't know-and I'm not alone. After all, we are the first generation of parents who have to figure out how to use the computer most effectively with our children. So how could we know the guidelines for what to do, what not to do, and why? Read on for expert answers to some tough kid-and-computer questions.

What's the maximum amount of time my child should spend working on the computer?

"Although it may differ for each youngster, an hour a day is good for kids ages three to eight," says Jean Casey, Ph.D., professor of teacher education at California State University at Long Beach and author of Creating the Early Literacy Classroom. In that time span, a little one can play and even attain new skills. For example, "children who struggle with hand-muscle control and are learning to write can have great success using the computer as a communication tool," Casey notes.

Setting time limits gets trickier for kids 9 and up, who increasingly need the PC for homework. With breaks, computer time may last for hours if, say, your youngster has to type a report. But if she's indulging only in arcade-style games, limit play to one or two hours daily, says Elizabeth Kemper, director of the Intel PC Parents Program.

Will staring at a computer screen harm my child's eyes?

The American Academy of Ophthalmology (AAO) states that computers do not cause eye damage but may cause temporary eyestrain. Stuart Dankner, M.D., a pediatric ophthalmologist in Baltimore and a spokesperson for the AAO, recommends that your kid take a ten-minute break each hour if he shows signs of eyestrain or headaches.

Can a child really be addicted to the computer?

Excessive computer use is not officially considered to be an addiction, according to Cornelia Brunner, Ph.D., associate director of the Center for Children and Technology. It's not included in the most recent version of the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.

But parents should still watch for signs that time on the PC is negatively affecting a kid's behavior, says Jane M. Healy, Ph.D., an educational psychologist and author of Failure to Connect. If your youngster's intense computer use is accompanied by withdrawal from social activities, depression, sleep problems, or a slacking off with homework, you're seeing some of the red flags, according to Healy. It's time to keep the computer off, says Kemper, until you find out what's going on by talking to your kid

directly and, if necessary, consulting a counselor.

Is it okay that my child plays one game over and over?

Relax. "Kids learn and feel reassurance through repetition," says Kemper. "It's also a way to unwind." Jinny Gudmundsen, editor of Choosing Children's Software magazine, points out that, since a new CDROM is like a new toy, it's only natural for a kid to want to play with it repeatedly. "Most children will eventually self-regulate, returning to other programs," she says. If not, ask questions like "What do you enjoy most about this?" or "What makes this fun for you?" to discover the software's appeal. Then you can steer your kid toward other products with similar characteristics.

Also consider that "most educational software moves children forward with advancing levels, involving them in long or consecutive play sessions," says Gudmundsen. You might not realize that your kid is actually making progress, so sit with her at the computer and get to know how the program works.

Is any battle-themed software okay for my child to play?

In a recent study, Craig A. Anderson, Ph.D., professor of psychology at Iowa State University, found that, because of their interactive nature, violent games may increase aggressive thoughts and behaviors even more than violent movies or TV shows. "In these games, the child isn't passive; he's the aggressor," says Anderson.

If you allow such programs to be played in your house, you're sending mixed messages to your kid about how you'd like him to behave. To fend off his pleas for this type of software, Kemper suggests the following explanation: "Violence doesn't solve problems, and if real people acted like the characters in this game, the world would become a terrible place. That's why I find the content offensive and don't want it in our home."

Says Ann Orr, Ed.D., senior editor of Children's Software Revue, "There are plenty of excellent, violence-flee games to choose from instead--many can be downloaded for free or at little cost online." The website www.kidsdomain.com offers nonviolent options geared toward different age groups.

How do I supervise my child's software selections?

First, look at the Entertainment Software Rating Board's (ESRB) markings, on one of the lower front corners of the packaging. EC (which stands for early childhood) is aimed at kids 3 and up and contains no objectionable material. E (for everyone) is for children 6 and up and may feature some mild violence (tackling in a football game), comic mischief (a character belching), or crude language (words like "hell"). T (teen), for ages 13 and older, includes stronger violence and language, such as a soldier killing his enemy while spouting curse words. It only gets worse with M (mature), for ages 17 and up, and A (adults only). RP (rating pending) means the program is under review. The ESRB offers a website, www.esrb.org, and a hot line, 800-771-3772, for quick ratings checks. You can also investigate software at www.childrenssoft ware.com (for a $4 yearly fee) and www.computingwithkids.com.

You also need to make sure that your youngster knows he can't borrow inappropriate games or play them at friends' houses. Some experts recommend drawing up a list of computer-use rules for your child to agree to and sign.

Other helpers: GamesNanny ($30 to $35; 801-489-0101,www.gamesnanny.com) and Edmark's KidDesk Family Edition ($25; 800-691-2986, www.edmark.com) can keep a record of all computer activities, set time limits on the PC, and restrict software operation.

CREATE A COMFY COMPUTER

How can you make sure your home computer area is ergonomically correct--meaning comfortable and stress free--for your child's body? Follow this advice from Alan Hedge, Ph.D., director of the Human Factors and Ergonomics Laboratory at Cornell University.

* Position the monitor directly in front of your child. Her eyes should line up horizontally with a point on the screen that's two to three inches below the top of the display. This prevents neck strain. You may need to adjust the chair or use a book or booster seat to add height.

* Make sure she's at least 20 inches away from the screen.

* Use a footrest to support her dangling legs and to avoid back strain.

* Place a support pillow in the small of her back for extra cushioning. A selection can be found at www.alimed.com.

* Try the LittleFingers Keyboard from Datadesk Technologies ($70; 877-978-3375, www.data-desk, com) for kids under 12.

* Log on to ergo.human.cornell.edu for more tips.

Family Life, Jun/Jul2001